Birthday Surprise Attacks

MOOD TODAY: ( . •́ _ʖ •̀ .) <– because of assignments

I turned 18 3 weeks back and since I was studying overseas, I did not get to celebrate it with my parents. Luckily, two of my good friends actually invited me out that night and showered me with gifts of snacks and treated me with a macha frozen yoghurt. In my heart, I was feeling really grateful and elated. I didn’t really expect anything this year because I knew that my birthday was exactly on the start of uni sem 1 and nobody remembered it probably.

But as far as I know, a lot of people sent me birthday wishes here and there. I am truly blessed and thankful for all the birthday greetings. Back to my friends, as I said, even though last year they celebrated my birthday with a dinner and cake on the exact day of  my birthday, I didn’t really have any expectations for anything this year. These two friends of mine bought me some cider and it tasted pretty good. But then again, I wouldn’t want to try it again bc it made me feel so sleepy. Apparently, I have low tolerance to alcohol hmm…

Anyways, they spent time with me in my apartment, just talking random stuffs. Then they left and said happy birthday again. If they ever come across this post, I would like to thank you for making my 18th birthday a memorable one. You guys made such efforts for a person like me. I’m really overwhelmed and blessed to get to know you all after arriving in a foreign country for studies. I will not forget you all and thanks for everything you have done for me. I wouldn’t be who I am today without your help. During that time, I was emotionally really down and talking to them really helped me to feel better.

After that, I thought it was the last time I would probably see them bc hey, we are all so busy in uni. Then they invited me out for some korean dinner and as I was elated to meet with them and along with few other friends I haven’t seen in a year, I, again didn’t, expect anything surprise or anything like that bc they already celebrated my birthday with me so I was already satisfied with that.

At the end of the dinner, they just simply said they were going to the washroom and one of my friend stared at me cheekily while I just replied with a smile. I didn’t know they were going to collect the cake. After quite some time, I was getting suspicious so a random thought past my mind, “Are they going to do some kind of surprise again? I feel like they are getting something, maybe a cake?” But I thought to myself, “Hmm…it couldn’t be because they already celebrated my birthday on Monday” Assuring myself that they really got into trouble in the washroom, I just simply talked with other people and played with my phone.

Little did I know, they started singing happy birthday and as slow as I get, I was so surprised and I kept thanking them. Like wow, did they really thought so much of me? I mean I wouldn’t really care about someone like me, if I were in their shoes. (Did ya see how pessimistic I turned out to be? Bad, Mint, very bad…)

 

I like to care for others but as much as I would like to receive in return, I really don’t set my expectations high for people whom I really care about, because for me, if expectations were never fulfilled, I would be filled with regret and disappointment, or like i would like to say, I would feel like a disappointment.

So I always assume other people don’t really think highly as me as I do, about them. This is just something I assume so that I don’t feel disappointed afterwards. This is probably not healthy as it hurts my self esteem and self-confidence. This is why I am certified as an introvert. Seriously I need to change myself soon.

 

BUT going beyond my expectations, they really thought highly of me, and I am always grateful no matter what. Yesterday, yes yesterday, one of my friends who celebrated my birthday that night, said she wanted to pass something to me. When she gave it to me, I was again struck with surprise. IT’S AN ALBUM I HAVE BEEN WANTING FOR A WHILE NOW. (So that’s why they kept asking me about which version of the album I am going to buy, I did not even expect that at ALL, I’M STILL SO SHOCKED)

 

Triple Birthday surprise attack (not really sure if the album counts as my belated birthday gift but I counted it in anyways)

 

If you were wondering what album it is, it’s a B.A.P album. My absolute favourite group. I will probably compile a list of songs I really enjoy from B.A.P and other groups in the future so stay tuned for my recommendation of songs soon!

(Featured image credits to google & respective owner)

I am delaying my assignments for this post so I need to get back to it soon. See you guys soon and hope you’re all doing well! Bye bye!

Signing off,

Mint /(・ ᆺ ・)\♡

 

Certified Introvert ✓

Yes Princess Mia, I feel the exact way all the time but my major in uni requires me to be more like an extrovert so I don’t exactly fit well anywhere… (Credits to google and respective owner)

Hi guys, I haven’t been posting much and this is going to be a very short post. So let me get straight to my main point of today.

So I took this management subject in uni and for the group assignment, groups are formed by taking a personality test and a system will sort out all of us in the same tutorial according to personality types i assume. So what I found out after I did the personality test is that I am a certified introvert. And yes this subject is like two weeks old but hey I am really interested in these kinds of things.

Basically my personality type is ISFJ, which stands for “Introverted Sensing Feeling Judging”.

But apparently people with this personality type is more likely to be misunderstood most of the time but very loyal to those around them I think. I read somewhere and it says that they are too nice to the point they are being taken advantaged of but they still don’t mind.

Here’s a link to this personality type if you wanna read more about it >>humanmetrics.com<<

So there you have it. I am a certified (kinda) introvert. Yeap, I completely agree with most characteristics of that personality type. What’s yours? I would like to know!

Wishing everyone had a good week, if not, have a better week next week!

Signing off,

Mint /(・ ᆺ ・)\♡

Being an extrovert for a day

That gif of Honey senpai is literally and internally me today (credits to google)

Hi guys, yes, the title says it all. I finally talked to people in my tutorials and joked around too. You might think that, that’s no big deal at all Mint, like why would you even need to write a post about this? Like is talking to people meant being an extrovert? Pfft get your facts right Mint.

Yeah, I know, being an extrovert is so much more than what I did today but at least, I shifted near enough to the extrovert side. Last two years ago, my friend took Psychology as one of her subjects and she sent me a link which her teacher gave them to analyse their personality. I had a hard time finding the link but finally, I found it!! Here is the link if you would like to take it too >similarminds< (I think I took Eysenck Test last time!)

The results from that personality test were from 2 years ago so I am going to take it again today.

Let me list my result from two years ago and then compare two years later.

It said on the website:

Extroversion results were low which suggest you are very reclusive, quiet, unassertive , and private.

Neuroticism results were moderately high which suggests you are worrying, insecure, emotional and anxious.

Psychoticism results were moderately low which suggest you are, at times, overly kind-natured, trusting, and helpful at the expense of your own individual development…

Screen Shot 2017-03-06 at 18.40.01.png

(All credits goes to similarminds.com, I do not own anything, this is simply what I would like to talk about so some information is needed in my discussion)

 

 

 

 

2015 results

As you can see, I am fairly on the introvert side, a test I took two years ago. So in order to see if two years living abroad did change me, I would like to discover any changes in myself.

-After 10 minutes of taking the test and wasting time on YouTube for another 20 minutes-

Screen Shot 2017-03-06 at 18.55.46.png

2017 results

Wow, I am still pretty much the same but leaning towards extrovert I suppose? I’m not entirely sure but oh well! Let me take the test next year to see my progress.

That wasn’t really the point of this post but check the personality test out if you would like. It’s interesting and at least i think it’s accurate to some degree. ANYWAYS, I met some good people and they were really nice too. There’s this guy with similar Chinese name as I am and we talked really casually (p.s. he was pretty cute I suppose, but I just need to meet him a few times to confirm that!), the girl beside me was pretty nice too and that other guy who was quiet. But overall, today was achievement for me, in the least.

This is out of topic but when will I get a boyfriend soon…? Haha, let me just laugh at myself for writing that.

 

I hope you had a good time reading this and wishing you all a great week ahead! I have a pile of work for me to do even though it’s only the second week of being a second year uni student. Hmm…university life. Probably better than the life after uni right? *chuckles*

 

 

Signing off,

Mint /(・ ᆺ ・)\♡

Mint’s First Flight Alone + Panic Attack

Oh right, panic attacks. Aren’t they just frightening? But the size of the Psyduck gif scares me even more (credits to google/tumblr)

P a n i c   A t t a c k

Let me b-b-break it down for you.

(P.S. this is going to be a long story so buckle up and get ready for a whole lot of nonsensical journey of mine| this happened in dec 2016)

I was on my way to the airport, alone and it was my first time flying back home on a 7 hour flight alone. ALONE. I reassured myself that I have tons of flying with a plane experiences like pfft who gets scared even?

But seriously speaking, I did not get a wink of sleep before the morning of my flight because I was worried about not getting to the airport on time, or I would get confused in the airport and irrelevant concerns that should’ve been abandoned at the back of my mind. Similar to a Walking Dead zombie (I swear I have never watch Walking Dead before but you know just any zombie will be fine to fit into this description), I waited for my taxi to arrive but just so you know, the student accommodation I lived in during that time, the people from the ‘construction place’ were starting their renovation as early as 7AM. As soon as I saw them when I was getting out to get some McDonald’s, I realised that I need to get into the lobby next door before they really dig the hell out of the floor next to the elevator.

That is how I waited for two hours in the lobby for my taxi, and that taxi driver wasn’t even punctual. Okay, maybe a few minutes delay wouldn’t kill me but hey, I waited for two whole hours.  But during those two hours, a Chinese lady/tourist approached me and asked me if I could speak Mandarin. As someone who speaks very little Mandarin, or could I say, very VERY bad Mandarin speaking skills, I nodded my head in sympathy, trying to understand what she was saying. Through that experience though, I can confirm that my Mandarin intellectual and speaking skills are worse than I thought. I’m pretty sure that lady was annoyed why I couldn’t start up her pocket wifi. Like hell I know how when the device itself wasn’t even responding well. As again, I apologise to you, tourist lady, for spending your precious 20 minutes with a person who claimed to understand what you are saying when I only understood 50% of what you are trying to say. Hmm…my dream of being a translator just shattered, just like how my self-esteem breaks all the time.

Alright, back to the airport.

Getting into the taxi was alright, on the way there was getting okay, but that damn phone call shook my whole existence.

I-I just can’t tell you how much I suffered from my panic attack after that phone call. Worried and anxious as I usually am, I picked up the ‘No ID Caller’ phone call which has been ringing twice repeatedly.

Me: Hello?

Unknown: Hi, I am from ____ Airlines. Am I speaking to Ms ____?

Me: Yes, I am ___. How may I help you?

Airline Lady: Your 1.15pm flight has been delayed because of some plane issues (I can’t remember clearly what the reason was but as far as my memory goes, it’s similar to that).

Me: I’m sorry? Delayed? What time is my flight going to be?

Airline Lady: Your flight will be delayed for 8 hours. You have to check into the counter to get your meal coupon later at 10.30AM. I apologise for-

Just from that delaying-for-8-hours moment, I stopped breathing. I know, I know, people had it worse than me, some people even sleep overnight at the airport or days even. But remember, it was my first flight home and I am only 17 that time. The taxi driver was glancing at me because the phone call actually interrupted our conversation.

He was asking what’s wrong and saying don’t worry.

Little did he know that I was terribly perplexed and stressed because I was going to arrive at the airport at 9.30AM in the least and please do count how many hours do I have to wait until my flight departs.

Yeap, I had to wait approximately 12 hours at the airport that I have never been once alone in.

Short, sharp breaths began to kick in, I was gripping onto my side of the car handle for dear life due to my taxi driver driving really fast and stepping onto his brakes too inconsistently. (Like seriously why would taxi drivers drive like that? I should’ve Uber it instead). My hands, arms and legs were beginning to lose feelings and gain pins and needles instead. The feeling of vomiting in his taxi was real, I almost threw up on his seat but I tried keeping myself calm and relaxed. I did not reply him after that phone call, in fear that I might throw up real bad in his already-not-so-nice-smelling taxi.

FINALLY, we reached the airport with a terrible jerk as he stomped onto his brakes.

That is where my symptoms worsened. I practically couldn’t breath and I had to call my parents to calm myself down. I was feeling very dizzy, as if I was twirled around for 20 times. In addition to that, I was losing my sense of touch and was emotionally unstable. My heartbeats were irregular and faster than usual. It really did scared me. Calling my parents did calm me down as well as ironically, made me burst into tears too.

Okay tell me what’s more embarrassing than crying in front of your crush and in front of your whole class. Yes the airport. Bawling my eyes out, people were giving me looks which I didn’t really care about because I couldn’t see them properly due to tears and I had my glasses removed, they were fogging up too much anyways.

And marshmallows. Marshmallows calm the hell out of me. During the whole journey, I consumed a whole bag of mini marshmallows (that were originally meant for baking) slowly and calmed myself down.

Marshmallows man, who knew they could be so effective? (not really, just the puffiness and softness of munching on them gave me a sense of calmness)

So my conclusion is?

I have never experience a panic attack before in my life and this panic attack was wrongly scheduled but who knows when and where it will creep onto me again?

To you all out there who are suffering from panic attacks or any disorders in general,

Firstly, just calm down.

Secondly, try to consume something, in my case, something sweet will do the trick. Or just close your eyes and try to breath in and out slowly. It doesn’t matter if your hands are numb, just as long as you keep breathing, it is a sign that you are still alive and well. It’s just that little guy who is trying to make you suffer.

Thirdly, try to talk to someone you trust and love. Even though it might worry them, it assures you that you are not alone, you are loved and you are not going through this alone and it’s going to get better, trust me.

Lastly, just be optimistic, in the case that you have to keep breathing, calming yourself down, crying it out, and do everything that might help you improve your mental and physical state a little better.

I would like to say that even though I have just experienced panic attack once so far, I just wanted to comfort you all who might be going through this everyday. I might not be accurate with my advices but they are just advices drawn from what I had experienced so if you have any more accurate solutions to such events happening, please do comment, as it might help other people.

So, ending it, I was feeling better that throughout my flight, I just slept and ate and my parents had to pick me up at 2AM and drive all the way home, which takes 1 hr and a half. My poor parents, what did I do to deserve them…

Sooo…to my parents,

Thank you for loving me and giving me the support I have always need. Taking care of my sister and I were difficult right? I will probably know how difficult it is to be a mom in the future but currently, I just want to say that I love you mom and dad, and of course my sister, you guys mean the world and the universe to me. Even if I don’t show it often enough, please do know that I am absolutely thankful to exist, live and taken care of by you all. I love you guys lots.

(Thanks for reading this so far and I hope you have a great day ahead!)

Signing off,

Mint /(・ ᆺ ・)\♡